July 2007
What Fine Coincidences!
A month or so ago, The Sunday Times said that the ban on smoking in clubs and night spots are raising ire among smokers. Well, now that the ban has come into effect this month, let’s all show how obedient Singaporeans are. Not having a choice is sooo beside the point (yeah, use the master’s tactic, if you can’t beat them, join them in the Internet revolution). Besides, you’d be adhering to the ban FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! Long time no hear, that blanket rationale ‘til the British comedy Hot Fuzz came along to spoof “the common good” way of governance. Not that Singaporeans recognize how close to home the spoof is.
“What is this ‘international standard’ that everyone is aiming for? Why can’t we just be?” – Tan Shzr Ee nobly asked in a Straits Times column on May 24, 07. Not everyone, dear. It’s our Minister Mentor who insists that we’re “not an ordinary country” nor should we behave like one. Of course, all the tracks in Tan’s piece were covered when she delicately declared that the term “world class is bandied about not just in Singapore”. Delicately now, we all know what Big Brother is like and we don’t wanna lose our writing cred do we? Though it’s now 2007, and not 1984.
“My friend sees the aspiration to world-class-hood as a symptom of lacking a history and soul,” Tan added. Abaden? “Because we don’t really have a national or cultural identity, we are rather kiasu and would fill this emptiness by striving to be what the rest of the Western developed nations are like. We have to be world-class because we don’t know what else to be.” Ouch. I must say Tan does seem to have a different kind of career aspiration from the rest of her colleagues in that happy-hostage empire. Or maybe she’s the poor scapegoat for them to show that there is at least some human life left in that digitized pool of pawns… or bishops. But guess what?
We’re very likely destined to have even less culture and history in 20 years time. Even a cab-driver can tell me that our country will be half-filled with immigrant and migrant professionals in the near future. We can kind of see it happening. Viet-bride buying, hordes of China hookers… Not to worry, we just need to hear the rationale from the Straits Times to justify the new immigrants.
Plastered all over the island’s bus-stop ad-stands is the caption: “Exercise your right to free speech.” Wow, almost unbelievable. They certainly made sure there’s one poster right across from the Ngee Ann Polytechnic too, especially since the young have automatically muted themselves so much on these shores. Truly, who’s gonna be dynamic for Singapore tomorrow? Ah, have no fear… alas, the caption is just a message from SingTel! (Imagine if I were the one uttering that exhortation, they’d surely label me political.) And why shouldn’t it be all over the Poly or Uni? Look at the poster’s fine print. It’s really an ad for a mobile phone campaign to flog free talk-time in 20 campuses! So, all you young students out there, don’t forget to truly exercise your right to free speech in more ways than one, hor. Chee Soon Juan need not apply, of course!
In late May, the ongoing Sunday Times E-Mail Interview which, for the longest time, carried the headline “Who says…?” finally ceased to be. (It was unceremoniously replaced by a new weekly interview-column Expat Eye.) What a coincidence that this happens shortly after I’d uploaded a song of mine Who Says We Ain’t First World? on myspace.com. I love ‘coincidences’. Given my self-assigned vocation, coincidences mark the extent of my (un-credited) influence.
Wait up… Did you watch Pirates Of The Caribbean (Pt.3): At World’s End? If you studied practical criticism and mastered a literature course, I trust you’ll marvel at how none of the local film reviews here dared to mention the real Singapore significance in the film. Sure, they all talked about Singapore being referenced as a pirate-hideout lorded by Chow You Fatt. But at one point, Chow was rebuked with the question -- “Have you no honor?” His reply : “It’s just good business!” And the arch-villain was also sent to his grave at the end of the film uttering those same words. So, you see… the world knows. Dear-dear me! Of course, it takes a modern Disney production that thrives on being a little politically incorrect (a campy protagonist, pirates defeating the law-makers…) to venture forth. It may all be mere coincidence… But honey, that’s fine by me!
So, the official explanation given for raising the age to withdraw one’s hard-earned CPF (Central Provident Fund) money is: “Young have to be better prepared.” (ST, Jun 26). Right. I told you they always have a justification. In the same day’s ST, a report on the Singapore Arts Festival quoted Festival director Goh Ching Lee: “We look for interesting and insightful programmes. If it creates controversy, we don’t shy away from it.” We can safely say that Elangovan plays are generally not interesting enough, ya? And even if they were, they wouldn’t cause too much controversy, since controversy really lies in the hands of the public media and the hands of the public media are… I’ll leave it to you to fill in the blank.
On Jun 21, ST quoted visiting graffiti artist Milenko Prvacki: “Graffiti art in other places in the world is an underground action and a form of protest. Here, we create panels for people to paint… the element of subversion is lost.” Abaden? But then, if Big Brother wants subversion to boost dynamism among the young, you can be sure it’s no sweat off your color-spray-cans. Check for possible agenda in the line-up. As in ‘express your right to subversion’, get it? – X’ Ho
